Back again..........

Hey howdy ether world...
Been a while hasn't it ? Yes-yes.. Last post was the 21st of April. That was 5 days before my birthday. Yes I do have those *shakes head*
Leading up to that point, for at least a few months prior, I was getting pretty down. A culmination of many factors I s'pose. Nothing to do with the B-Day thing. No, it was more a feeling that came creeping in to my life. To a degree, I guess it was a sort of depression. I was working my butt off at the agistment ranch, working at the clinic, and doing my various volunteer projects for the animals and folks who just needed a helping hand. Problem was, I wasn't monitoring the machine (Tash). I piled more and more and more on till I couldn't see the trees let alone the forest. It was overwhelming more than depression truly. I think I was gettin' closer to a snap-point than I'd ever reached before. And...It was solely my fault.
So.......... I've changed gears. Or, I'm trying to. As I've implemented these changes, I'm seeing improvement. Not an overnight switch, and I've no right to expect thus. I spent enough time slowly getting to where I arrived at, so a new destination will take more than a finger-snap *nods* But, more and more I'm seeing the joy return in my thoughts. I smile when I see natural beauty again. I'm not expecting the "other shoe to drop" anymore. I started first by nearly killing my telephone. By nearly I mean that it was a real consideration. Cup of coffee, phone, thoughts whirling around in my muddled mind. Instead, I turned it off. I left it off. I sent a text first to the agistment ranch saying I was ill (not a lie I truly was as ill as a Tash can get without shutting off) and disappeared off the planet for about ten days.
A good call too because my personal life (you know, the one I never talk about here ?) began a steady spiral into the crapper. No, not steady, a violent descent into the depths of...Anyways. I don't mix the two worlds. I'm not a monk albeit I considered that on a few occasions in my life VERY seriously. But I keep the "what's going on in my personal relationship" and this blog worlds apart. Just good for me to have a place like this that I can got to and completely "change hats" so to speak. Just healthy for me *nods*
Anywhoooo... Changes, yes.. I put in notice 2 weeks ago at the clinic where I assist in surgery, that I won't be back. That was met with offers of more money, accolades, homage, and attempts to completely change the method of operation to my liking. I stood firm ground though, and explained my reasons. They were good. I could see in his face, the veterinarian's, (not the happy face of a satisfied human, but the face of one who is caught up in the mangling machine of his own making) a sort of sadness. Like there was something he could sense that I knew and had found that was eluding him. I told him to consider re prioritising his life so he could be happy. There were so many reasons he couldn't. Investment properties, etc...etc.. Dude ? when you're dead that stuff doesn't mean a damn thing...
So, yeah, I'm outta there now. Last gig was day before yesterday, and I'm not going back. I've also limited my accessibility to the ranch folks. I leave my phone off quite a bit, have limited my hours there to 7 a day, and three days a week. I also told them to brace for an impact in that I'm almost doubling my fees. At this point they could say yes or no, and I don't really care. I can work closer to my domicile, make the same roughly doing odd projects for locals, and not ever work a holiday, get a late night call for foaling problems, and not drive there.
All of these changes allows me to do what I really love.. Helping folks.. This last weekend I helped a guy do a makeover on his aging parents front lawn. While they go out of town to visit relatives, he was going to pick ax up the whole front yard of weeds, level it, plant a sprinkler system with automatic timers, and hack back the jungle of shrubs. Luke, Luke....Luke.. He's not what I'd call a Tool Man. I think it would've killed him quite honestly. But, I make a couple calls, show up with a force to be recconed with, and Sunday p.m. as the very last vestiges of light ebbed from the sky, we turned on the new sprinkler system watering the newly planted lawn seeds.
It felt damn good. This weekend ? I'm going back to a project that needs a little tweaking. Finish the deck and railings on that place we put in the handicap ramp, and move/install their therapeutic hot tub. After I'm gathering some musician types, and we'll rock out to the wee hours of the morning.
While I'm still not sure where the rest of my life will go......I can do my best, and try to be the inspirational shinning light that I can be. I'll try hard *crosses heart*
Y'all have the best day now........